YELLOWSTONE – Looking out at the famous Lower Falls at the Grand Canyon of the Yellowstone, Lisa Smith was overwhelmed by how unimpressed she was with it all. Having only joined the group hike at the urging of her new boyfriend Todd, the 24-year-old administrative assistant already had low expectations for the excursion. But now, standing at one of the most majestic spots in the park, she was amazed at how those expectations weren’t low enough.
“I am just in awe of how uninteresting this place is,” she said. “It’s nothing but trees, rocks and dirt. But what’s even more incredible is how people go on and on about how beautiful it is. Compared to what? The trees, rocks and dirt back home? It’s truly mind blowing.”
While the rest of the group took pictures and talked excitedly about where to go next, Smith stared quietly at the waterfall. Listening to the roar of millions of gallons going over a 300-foot drop, she wondered how this was worth two hours in the car both ways. “You’d think they’d never seen water before,” she said of her companions with a note of bewilderment. “They take dozens of pictures, then another dozen pictures trying to get the perfect photo of them jumping up in the air together. It’s incredible.”
But by far the most unspectacular moment of the day was when someone in the group spotted a deer. “One of Todd’s friends, I think her name’s Dawn? Started shrieking like she was on fire. Over a deer. Sorry, but if you can see a thousand videos of it on YouTube, it’s not a big deal.”
Cooke went on to say she found the throughly mundane trip enlightening. “I’ve been bored before, but today has taken me to heights of boredom I never thought possible. I felt truly humbled.” At press time Cooke was standing arm in arm with her boyfriend at Old Faithful, wondering how much longer she had to pretend to appreciate this crap.
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