GREENWICH, CT – Arriving a few weeks ahead of schedule, a lone yellow jacket flew into Bruce Park Monday morning to stake an early claim on the best trash from where he can terrorize people all summer. “A month from now this place will be swarming with other yellow jackets all competing for the prime real estate,” he said to the reporters who dared to get close enough to interview him. “I had to compete for food and mom’s affections with 50 siblings and I am done with that. I am going to OWN this park.”
He explained his process as he walked around the edge of a trash can checking out all vantage points. “The best trash cans are the ones closest to areas where large groups of people tend to gather. That way it’s a short flight over to menace then while they’re trying to have a good time, then a short flight back to menace them again as they’re trying to dump their garbage.”
Quickly ruling out the one next to the restrooms, the wasp inspected the bins around the playground and the parking space where the ice cream truck would be stationed before choosing a bin five feet from the picnic tables. Settling underneath the rim, he buzzed with excitement in anticipation of all the fun he was going to ruin. “Bring on the birthday parties and family reunions and Fourth of July celebrations. I’m ready for you, suckers!” He declared with all the bravado of an insect unaware that a sudden cold snap would kill him dead two days later.
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