SPOKANE, WA — Shortly after arriving home from three consecutive shifts, nurse practitioner Stephanie Rhodes told reporters Thursday that she forced herself onto her otherwise repugnant husband upon finding a spotless kitchen with no food encrusted dishes in sight.
“I was overwhelmed with lust after taking long, deep breaths of Clorox’s stinging aroma,” said Rhodes, adding that she would’ve had sex with anyone at that moment but the closest person by proximity was her husband.
Rhodes later added, “I’m usually turned off by his cutoff cargo jean shorts and pit stained undershirts. We were both surprised how each other reacted. I guess we’re victims of circumstance.”
At press time, Mr. Rhodes filed for divorce after Stephanie requested for all future sexual encounters with her husband to involve Pine Sol and an adult sized inflatable doll resembling Mr. Clean.
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