Trump gives Putin New Hampshire

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WEST PALM BEACH, Fla. – Donald Trump announced today that his first official act after being sworn in as the 45th president on Jan. 20 will be to give Vladimir Putin New Hampshire.

“Stupid state,” Trump told reporters at his Mar-a-Lago estate. “Tiny coastline. Zero hedge funds. Vlady can have it. Good riddance.”

New Hampshire voted for Hillary Clinton in the November election, albeit by only a fraction, 348,526 votes to Trump’s 345,790.

Informed of the gift, the Russian president, who elected Trump, professed little knowledge of the state of 1.3 million people.

podium

“They all work in Massachusetts, no?” Putin said. “Have lakes no one can spell? Weird slogan about death? And mountain with highest wind ever and mercury 47 below? Maybe I dress Chechnyan dissidents in Bermuda short and send there. But rather get California, to be honest. I so see myself in Hollywood.”

Trump said he is “inclined” to grant that wish. With 61.5-percent of the vote for Clinton, California was the most anti-Trump state in the November election.

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