Donald Trump’s new immigration plan calls for the immediate removal of all undocumented Cabbage Patch Kids. Current statistics suggest as many as 400,000 of the loveable dolls without birth certificates would be targeted.
“Any of the little people who can’t prove they were born in America will have to leave,” Trump said at a rally this afternoon.
Cabbage Patch Kids are issued a birth certificate upon adoption, but some critics claim many were hand-sewn illegally and have been taking jobs away from natural- born dolls.
Trump did not divulge specifics regarding relocation, but said the kids would be sent to a magical place behind a waterfall.
Supporters at the rally cheered when the presidential hopeful took a hard line on illegal dolls.
“Finally, someone is doing something about these needle-molded fabric sculptures,” said Chet Farkins, of Lee’s Summit, Missouri.
The left quickly denounced the proposal as a form of doll discrimination.
“What’s next,” scoffed Democratic strategist Sanford Leidman, “Will Barbie and Ken have to carry a passport? It’s ridiculous.”
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