Welcome to the another edition of ‘Those Who Can, Do. Those Who Can’t Ask Stu.’ Each edition I do my best to answer questions about comedy or life in general. Feel free to send any questions to firstname.lastname@example.org. I will do my best to enrich your life (or make you eat it on a extreme level). Thanks for reading.
People can also ask questions about everyday things in life. I will try to answer in a non-jackassery way. No guarantees though.
My mom lives with me and my hubby. Recently I found out that she walks around at night because she hears noises or is restless — and puts her ear on our bedroom door, too!
I was shocked. I think this is a complete invasion of my privacy, and I was embarrassed to no end. I now avoid getting intimate with my hubby, and he has no idea why.
I have to be sensitive about what I say to Mom because she underwent surgery recently and she has a lot of medical issues. How should I handle this?- AC
Dear AC- Invite your mom in next time you hear her at the door. She’ll stop. Or you will have someone who can operate the camera for you. Next question…
I am sometimes invited to friends’ birthday parties and, while I enjoy the celebration, I have one hang-up. When it’s time to blow out the candles, sometimes my friends will blow real hard or even need more than one breath. (We’re not exactly spring chickens.) To me, this is the equivalent of spitting all over the cake, and I can’t bring myself to eat any after this display.
What is a “nice” way of saying, “I don’t want any cake,” without falling back on the old, “I’m trying to lose weight,” especially since other snacks and drinks are also being served? –DF
Dear DF- If you are not exactly a ‘spring chicken’ you should not have anything to worry about. You have lived life and hopefully have survived more than some spittle on some cake. If it truly bothers you so much just scrap the frosting off the top. You can probably do without it anyway. Next question…
I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend, “Allison,” for two years, but lately there have been frequent rough patches. I’m 18 and a college student. I love Allison, but the relationship is taking a toll on us physically and emotionally.
We have had to deal with separation ever since we got together. She’s the only one with a car and a “real” job. I work on campus in a work-study program in exchange for reduced tuition. I try to help Allison as much as I can to reduce the stress on her.
She has asked me to transfer schools, but I’d like to stay where I am because I feel I will have the ability to make something of myself. I have suggested that maybe we need to go our separate ways so she doesn’t have to pull the majority of the weight, but she gets upset and accuses me of not loving her. What should I do? –BF
Dear BF- Dump her. You’re 18 and will meet a lot of other women better suited. You’re unhappy. Allison is unhappy. Don’t get trapped in something neither of you want because breaking up is uncomfortable. You’ll resent her if you don’t. Now go find another girl and have sex. You’re 18!
© Absrd Comedy, LLC – a parody site for entertainment purposes only. Laugh. Enjoy! Individual opinions expressed are those of the individual authors, not necessarily of absrdComedy, and may not even be those of the individual authors.