Putin climbs Trump Tower in record 14 seconds

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NEW YORK (RPN) – Russian president Vladimir Putin today climbed to the top of Trump Tower – all 68 stories — in a record 14 seconds, shattering the nearly three-hour ascent Wednesday by a Virginia man who later was arrested and sent for psychiatric evaluation.

Putin scoffed at Stephen Rogata, who only got less than a third of the way up before police broke a window and corralled him.

“Three hours, 21 stories, sissy,” Putin said after rappelling back down.

Putin, who appeared to use only his unaided hands, also derided Rogata’s use of suction cups.

“Plus,” Putin added, “he wore shirt.”

As thousands of startled spectators on the street below observed, Putin climbed bareback, much as he has ridden tigers, driven tanks, swum with dolphins — and, he has claimed, orbited the earth.

Putin said he climbed the tower to personally deliver a “confidential” message to Donald Trump, the Republican presidential candidate.

“Only fool trust email,” Putin said. He did not disclose the contents of his message.

The candidate and the Russian leader have drawn increasingly close this summer.

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