Russia votes to exit Soviet Union

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MOSCOW (RPN) – In what is being described as a “stunning repudiation,” Russia today voted to exit the Soviet Union. Russian president Vladimir Putin, who cast the only vote, hailed the outcome as “the dawn of a new day for the motherland.”

Putin told reporters in Red Square that he does not expect economic or political turmoil, since the Russian economy already is “in toilet” and his order to open up the country’s strategic vodka reserves should quell any talk of rebellion.

 Russia votes to exit Soviet Union

“You think I not know Russian nature?” he said.

The Russian leader had called the unprecedented referendum because, as he said, “I want to determine the will of countrymen. Except for damn Chechnyans, of course. Let them eat plutonium.”

Asked why only one vote, his, had been allowed, Putin replied: “You somehow think this is democracy?”

When a western reporter asked if he had forgotten that the Soviet Union collapsed on Christmas Day 1991, Putin said: “Comrade, you friend of Gorbachev?”

Putin then revoked the reporter’s press credentials, except for eastern Ukraine.

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