500 Pounds of Produce Removed From Crazy Vegetable Lady’s Home

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BANGOR, ME – Following weeks of surveillance and dozens of complaints from local residents, police removed hundreds of pounds of home grown vegetables from a single story house in Fairmount on Monday.

Margaret Holland, 64, was an avid gardener who enjoyed sharing her bounty with her neighbors. “It was only slightly annoying at first,” said Karen Wentworth, who has lived across the street from Holland for seven years. “She’d stop by occasionally and give me a bag of cauliflower or zucchini. I can’t get my kids to eat the good vegetables, let alone the D-listers.” But after Holland retired in 2013 gardening became an obsession, and her visits became more frequent and more inconvenient.

“I felt a tiny stab in my chest every time one of my kids yelled out that she was coming up the walkway,” said Frank Barnes, who lives down the street from Holland. “We tried pretending we weren’t home but she’d just leave it on our doorstep. I mean, how much kale does that women think we can eat?”

Inside the house authorities found piles of withered, bruised and slimy vegetables including tomatoes, carrots, and spinach stretched to the ceiling. Removal was made more difficult by feral rabbits that had established a warren within the stacks of rotting produce. A spokesman for the police department said that efforts are being made to salvage as many vegetables as possible and re-home them in farmer’s markets and roadside stands.

Though Holland is not facing any criminal charges, the spokesman went on to say that he wouldn’t be surprised if the county ended up “passing a few new laws by next spring.”

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