Comedy Gym: Those Who Can, Do. Those Who Can’t Ask Stu: Vol.28

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Welcome to the another edition of ‘Those Who Can, Do. Those Who Can’t Ask Stu.’ Each edition I do my best to answer questions about comedy or life in general. Feel free to send any questions to stu.mccallister@yahoo.com. I will do my best to enrich your life (or make you eat it on a extreme level). Thanks for reading.

Stu McCallister

People can also ask questions about everyday things in life. I will try to answer in a non-jackassery way. No guarantees though.

Question #1
I moved from New Jersey to Florida 20 years ago, married my wife and started a family. My parents relocated here a few years later. When I asked if they would be living nearby, I was told, “No way! We raised our kids already.” Hearing it felt hurtful.

As time has passed, they have made themselves available to a family who lives near them for baby-sitting and help running their business when the family is on vacation. We have asked my parents on several occasions if we could have some help watching our children, but they said they were too busy or it was too much to handle.

We feel we should take priority over “outsiders.” But when we bring up the subject, it is met with strong opposition. We just feel like we’re not good enough, and don’t know how to answer our children when they ask about their grandparents. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.- SH

Answer
Dear SH, Listen, it sounds like your parents don’t really care about you. You looking to get free babysitting out of them isn’t helping. If you cared you’d leave them alone and find a babysitter off of Craigslist. Stop being whiny and take care of your own kids! Next question…



Question #2
I have an extreme aversion to alcohol and those who consume it. I suspect that it comes from having a father who was a violent, emotionally abusive alcoholic. Alcohol has zero appeal for me and, as I’m in my mid-20s, it’s difficult for me to go on outings with friends without having to go to a bar. I become that grumpy, silent person in the corner.

Because of this, my fiancee has begun socializing with her family and our friends without me. Most recently, they celebrated a sibling’s 21st birthday and left me home across the country. Talking to her and knowing she’s at a bar and drinking makes me extremely angry, and we almost always end up in a fight about it.

I know this is MY problem. Do you have any advice on getting over it?- MC

Answer
Dear MC- My suggestion to you is get over it. Truly get over yourself. Go get some therapy. Sorry that your dad was a dick but that doesn’t mean everyone who drinks will be an asshole like your dad. You describe yourself as grumpy when at a bar and you get extremely angry when she is at a bar. I’m shocked that she even is still with you. So here are your choices. 1- Lighten up. 2- Become Amish. Or 3- Have a beer and take it easy. You’re ruining everyone else’s buzz. Next question…



Question #3
My wife and I have been married three years. It has been rocky since year two. She’s a great mother to our kids, especially the one who is medically challenged. We have broken up twice so far, and are now back together. However, because of my job, we live in different states.

Bottom line: I’m no longer sure this is the right relationship for me. She goes to school full time while I work a ton of overtime to support two households. We hardly see or spend time with each other. She has said she would rather me work and not see me so that everything gets paid. I feel she’s more about the money than the marriage. What do you think? – BH

Answer
Ok, clearly this woman is more into the cash than you. She wants you to work more while living in another state? This bitch has side dick. Count it. Tell that chick to hit the bricks like she is a mason. Next question…


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