Why Fat Guys Wear Shorts All Winter

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So many wonder why fat guys wear shorts all winter. It’s so simple it hardly warrants an entire article. Comfort. You see fat guys are always warm. ALWAYS WARM. It’s a fat fact.

So when you see a fat guy in shorts in January and you say “aren’t you cold?” “NO idiot, I’m fat. I’m not cold, I’m never cold”… is the answer. When we come to your house and you say “ we turned the air off and opened the windows we like the fresh air,” We want to punch you in the face. Fresh air is Fat Translated to say “ we like it hot and love sweating all day long” … So if a fat friend is coming over, TURN ON THE AIR!!!

Still the shorts issue is out there. You see when you are fat and you wear long pants, it better be because you are going to be outside in the cold for extended periods of time. Otherwise, you will end up sweating because your clothes are now trapping heat. And as fun as that sounds, standing up with a sweat stripe down the crack of your ass is not a great look.

Lastly, shorts are easier to extract from your butt crack than long pants. For some reason the fat ass doesn’t want to give up the extra material. Shorts pop right out quick and easy. So the next time you wonder why that fat guy is wearing shorts all winter. DONT…. it’s simple. We don’t NEED long pants. We have a natural pant… We grow it ourselves and it goes with everything we own.

Kevin McPeek
Fat Guy.

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