MOSCOW – Russian President Vladimir Putin today announced the opening of his new Putin University, which will offer students from around the world diplomas in Chechnyan oppression, poisoning, waterboarding, surface-to-air missile loading and launching, bareback tiger-riding, and Olympic doping, among other courses of study.
Impressed and inspired, he said, by the now-defunct Trump University, Putin offered to give the Republican presidential candidate “a share of the profits” and the office of Provost, should The Donald fail to be elected U.S. president.
Putin critics accused the Russian leader of “duplicity,” nothing that he remains a candidate for the U.S. Democratic nomination. Although a long battle with Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders yielded him but a single “superdelegate,” Putin has vowed to continue his candidacy in the hopes of winning a brokered convention.
“Comrades, Putin University courses could prove most effective in Philadelphia,” Putin said. “We bring Russian democracy to Cradle of Liberty. Streamline nomination process significantly.”
Trump, who has openly expressed his admiration for the Russian leader, responded to the news of Putin University with a gleeful Tweet:
.#Bromance continues: Totally down for #Putin University. Already enrolled in Nuclear Code 101. Love u Vlady
Putin initially asked Trump to be his running mate, but Trump’s success in the GOP primaries has ended that offer.
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