Dr. Phil Tearfully Admits to Nat’l TV Audience Father Is Manatee

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HOLLYWOOD–Popular TV host Dr. Phil McGraw startled millions of his faithful viewers yesterday when he began his show by announcing his birth father is actually a manatee housed in a geriatric ward of San Diego aquatic park SeaWorld.

The tearful, pudge-faced McGraw said: “I know it’s terrible. To deny your own father and keep his true identity a secret for years is a heinous betrayal. It’s disgraceful, I know. I just didn’t know how to…”

At this point, McGraw broke down and began sobbing uncontrollably before a national TV audience for a full 4 minutes.

A team of SeaWorld aquarium attendants and geriatric veterinarians then wheeled a 300-gallon tank containing the elder McGraw onto the set of the show.

As millions witnessed the poignant, touching scene, father and son embraced as the emotionally overwrought younger McGraw sobbed, “I love you, Dad.”

He then added, after cutting to a commercial break: “But you’re getting my suit wet. You know this is virgin wool, right? Really?”


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