Donald Trump Proposes Floor and Ceiling “Around” US to Keep Out Chinese/Extraterrestrial Illegals

0

WASHINGTON–Presidential candidate Donald Trump announced today at a press conference that building a wall to keep Mexicans out “doesn’t go far enough.”

Trump said: “I mean, sure, it’s a good start. But there are other threats out there too. We can’t just say ‘OK, no more Mexicans; we’re good.’ We’ve got to be prepared for the others.

“Some have brought up the internment of Japanese Americans in World War 2 like it was a bad thing or something. But I’m telling you there is a yellow peril. And not just the stain on my underwear. A real peril. One that could end the American dream for millions of our kind. And that threat is China.

“My worry, and frankly, I fear, the worry of many of my fellow worriers, is that China won’t stop by beating us in the global marketplace. Oh, no. That’s just the beginning. They will stop at nothing in their relentless pursuit of our American things.

“Picture this. Millions upon millions of Mongol hordes tunneling through the center of the Earth to destroy America. You say it can’t happen. And maybe you are right. But what if you are wrong? What then?

“And not only that. I tell you there is also a silver peril. And that peril is from outer space. You may say I’m wrong. And maybe you are right and I am wrong. But what if you are wrong and I am right? Let me put it this way. How many of you saw Independence Day: Detergent? Now tell me there isn’t a silver peril out there.

“And I tell you this. China and Mars will pay for the floor and ceiling. On this you can count, my friends.”


© Absrd Comedy, LLC – a parody site for entertainment purposes only. Laugh. Enjoy! Individual opinions expressed are those of the individual authors, not necessarily of absrdComedy, and may not even be those of the individual authors.

Comments are closed.