Local Man Awesome Kickass Owes Moderate Success To Unique Name


PROVIDENCE, RI – Thanks to the one-of-a-kind name his parents bestowed on him 31 years ago, Awesome Kickass Lambert is enjoying the kind of fame usually reserved for minor league baseball players and local TV weathermen. He’s been mentioned in several blogs and newspaper articles, and he recently celebrated his biggest achievement, entry #5 on a Buzzfeed listcicle. “People are always asking if this is my real name, and when I say yes their eyes get wide and they’re like wow, that’s so cool!” He says. “It’s opened up a lot of doors for me.”

Alan and Rebecca Lambert say they knew their son was special the moment he was born. “All our friends were giving their kids loser names names like Brian and Chris, but we knew our child deserved better,” said Rebecca. “We had to pick a name that would let everyone know how amazing he really was, every single day.”

When not managing his blog, Things as Awesome as I Am, Awesome Kickass works at Kinko’s, sells t-shirts online and occasionally plays guitar in a friend’s band. He also tweets to his 2,046 followers and posts to his Instagram account daily. “Occasionally you’ll hear about some guy legally changing his name to Megatron or whatever, and that’s pathetic,” he says. “You can’t force this kind of cool. You’re either born with it or you’re not. Accept no substitutions. And if you could buy a couple of my t-shirts, that would be awesome.”

© Absrd Comedy, LLC – a parody site for entertainment purposes only. Laugh. Enjoy! Individual opinions expressed are those of the individual authors, not necessarily of absrdComedy, and may not even be those of the individual authors.

Comments are closed.