Comedy Gym: Those Who Can, Do. Those Who Can’t Ask Stu: Vol.25


Welcome to the another edition of ‘Those Who Can, Do. Those Who Can’t Ask Stu.’ Each edition I do my best to answer questions about comedy or life in general. Feel free to send any questions to I will do my best to enrich your life (or make you eat it on a extreme level). Thanks for reading.

Stu McCallister

People can also ask questions about everyday things in life. I will try to answer in a non-jackassery way. No guarantees though.

Question #1
A little over a year ago, my sons — ages 10 and 11 — met a 10-year-old boy named “Adam” and have played with him often since. During this time, Adam’s mother and I have cultivated a warm friendship that I don’t want to lose.

The problem? My sons don’t like to play with Adam anymore. They say he cries and storms out when he doesn’t get his way. I have observed this behavior myself. His mom has commented on it to me, but doesn’t know what to do about it.

How can I tell my good friend that my kids don’t want to play with her son anymore? CAN I tell her? My sons have “sucked it up” several times now so I could visit with her, but I don’t think it’s fair to keep asking them to do that. My boys get along nicely with their other friends and would rather play with them. Is there any way to solve this? –BR

Why are you concerned about what your kids think? They are 10 and 11. Do they have a job? Are they paying their fair share? I highly doubt it. You’re the Mom for Christ’s sake. Start acting like it! When you say jump they should say ‘How high and do you want me to stay there?’ You need to suck it up and start acting like the adult. Next question…

Question #2
I am a foreign exchange student studying in the U.S. Other exchange students and I have been debating two questions.

The first: Is it OK to buy a movie ticket and watch two or three movies? Some say “yes” because theaters tolerate it in the hope that customers will buy snacks and drinks in the process. Others say it goes against the honor system.

The second is: Is it wrong to return merchandise you never intended to buy in the first place? Example: to buy a novel and return it after reading it. My friends say bookstores expect a certain number of returns and build it into the cost of the books. As long as the book is kept in good condition, it’s OK. Other friends stress, however, that this, again, is taking advantage of the honor system. –AB

A few things: 1- It sounds like you are adjusting nicely to America. Good for you. 2- Americans don’t read books. We read blogs, tweets and Buzzfeed articles. And 3- You obviously aren’t studying ethics in school. Also in America we sneak snacks into movies too. Next question…

Question #3
I need some serious advice. I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis a year ago. My condition is stable. I have taken the necessary precautions such as dietary changes, exercise and prescription medications.

My husband and I have been married eight years. This is my second marriage and his third. My husband is a very stubborn man. Once he makes a decision he stands by it until death.

He has recently announced that should I become incapacitated and unable to perform my “wifely duties,” he is going to find a “sex buddy.” What should I do about this announcement? –CC

I recommend 2 things: 1- Never get sick. 2- Get a good lawyer. Why did you marry this guy in the first place? This guy is already cheating on you. Bank on that. Just start preparing for marriage #3.

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