Catching Up with 90’s TV Characters in the 2010’s

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From the halcyon days of grunge, goofy hip hop and phones that were just phones, the river time has flowed long and it has flowed deep. Over the course of its journey into the great unknown, these waters have seen countless fortunes won and and lost, countless dreams born and betrayed. The ebb and flow of this mystery we call life binds us all, pushing us, pulling us, breaking us and building us–and the characters of 90’s TV shows, though they tower above our huddling masses like the Colossus of Rhodes over the wine-dark sea, are no exception. Let us then see how they have fared…

Worf, Star Trek TNG
Came out of the closet in 2007. Organized first Klingon Gay Pride Parade in 2009.

Pheobe, Friends
Republican staffer in the Bush Administration from 2002-2008 . Wrote NYT best seller From the Coffee House to the White House: How I Learned to Get It Right.

Urkel, Family Matters
Served three tours in Iraq and one in Afghanistan. Now a trained MMA fighter aiming to conquer the featherweight belt.

Entire Cast, King of the Hill
Remade into reality TV series, shortly cancelled after Bobby was arrested for arson. Yes, he did use propane and propane accessories.

Krammer, Seinfeld
Multimillionaire. Created the app “SoupNazzi,” which locates the best restaurants in your area based on Yelp reviews.

Will “The Fresh Prince” Smith, The Fresh Prince of Bel Air
After years of admonishment from his uncle, Will finally took his GED, applied to Berkeley and earned an undergraduate degree in “New Media Studies.” Smith is now a highly connected LinkedIn member. What he actually does though is uncertain. Something about “engagement” and Instagram.

Scully, X-Files
Unemployed but hosts a weekly podcast called “The Convinced Skeptic.” 200 listeners. She is also batshit insane, which may allow her to break into talk radio.

Raymond, Everybody Loves Raymond
Parents died in early 2009. Divorced and lost custody of his children in 2010, who are now young adults and estranged from him. He has a cat named Mortimer and runs a blog called ‘Mortimer and I.’

Crypt Keeper, Tales from the Crypt
Took up stand up comedy around 2011. Bills himself as, “Dead-pan comedy that will have any and all boos and ghouls absolutely dying of laughter.”


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