Charlie Sheen Asks Congress to Legalize Coke

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With Morgan Freeman asking for marijuana to be legalized “across the board,” supporters of other substances have come forward with similar pleas to congress.

Charlie Sheen, the actor/winner/tiger, said in an interview with absrdNEWS, “If weed’s legal, that’s great. We get tax money off selling blunts and pot dispensaries. But why stop there? Why not get the best drug ever invented and make it better. How do you make coke better? You legalize the s**t out of it. That’s winning.”

Sheen is presenting a bill to congress this week, where he is expected to be met with standing ovations for his landmark bill—at least that’s what he said in the interview. Some representatives are looking forward to hearing Charlie Sheen present his bill. “It’s my drug of choice,” said Rep. Steve Scalise (R)R-LA. “Weed is a gateway drug. But if we legalize it, where are the kids gonna go next once weed isn’t enough? We need to legalize cocaine to be ready for that transition.”

Charlie Sheen is due to speak in the House of Representatives on his bill in a week. During the interview, Sheen said there would be bags of cocaine handed out during his presentation, as well as a “practical demonstration.” Congress should vote on the bill shortly after they finish off their supply.


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