Dating Advice w/Heather, Kent & Mat: Call of Duty Edition

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Heather Kozlakowski is the founder of the all-female comedy show

The Laugh Riot Dolls

A few times a year The Laugh Riot Dolls feature male comics!
To celebrate these shows Heather has invited the boys to help give dating advice!
XOXO


Heather is a single female comic in her late 30’s who has been on 22 dates in the past eight months and still lives alone with her cat.

Heather Kozlakowski

Heather

Letting her give dating advice is absurd.


Kent Tucker is a stand-up comic in his late 20’s. His keen insights into matters of the heart have helped MANY of his exes move on to better, stronger relationships, but still,

kent
Letting him give dating advice is absurd.
@regularkent


Mat Richards is a 24 year old single man with one legitimate relationship under his belt
As well as an extensive history of unrequited love.
His lack of experience in dating is only matched by his bitterness towards it.

mat
Letting him give dating advice is absurd.
@matsdown

Dear Kent & Heather,
My husband is always criticizing my boyfriend, sometimes right to his face. This leads to fights, which means tension and distraction that carries over into the bedroom. How can I make them get along so I can have a little fun once in a while?

Sincerely,
Two Cold Shoulders

Dear Cold Shoulders,
Polyamory is tricky. Jealousy creeps in gradually, which can have disastrous results. It sounds like these men are competing for your attention. Get them working together so you can all enjoy one another. Spice things up with some sort of sexy scavenger hunt. It will also help them learn to cooperate. Be careful, though—the guys could easily decide they don’t need you at all. To avoid this, spice things up on your own with a toy from your favorite sex shop. Let them keep fighting. Get something that vibrates. – Kent

When it doubt, add one more person. The problem is in the numbers; if you are going to do this right, you have to have: one husband, one boyfriend and one girlfriend. The husband is stability, the boyfriend is passion and the girlfriend is the most comfortable with using your new vibrator. – Heather

Dear Mat & Heather,
My girlfriend has been on my case about how much I’ve been playing COD (Call of Duty). All I do now is see pictures on Google with girlfriends playing COD with their boyfriends or performing different sexual acts on their boyfriends while they play COD. I just want to know if I’m in the wrong like she says I am or if she’s just not doing what she’s supposed to be doing.

Signed,
Too Much To Ask?

Dear TMTA,
First, stop basing your opinion of what a girlfriend should do based on online images, everyone does stuff they wouldn’t when there’s a camera on. Or keep doing it but keep a camera with you at all times. If that doesn’t change anything I think it could be time to breakup and remember what it’s like to have goals and aspirations beyond a blowjob in the foreground and grown men dying in the background. – Mat

You are a DORK! Answer the phone, your girlfriend’s boobies are calling and they HATE YOU!
COB (Call of Boobies) – Heather


Got a question for Heather? Tweet her at @Hkozlakowski

Check out all of Heather’s Dating Advice Columns


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