Stetson Presents: Ask a Redneck 22

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I love my town. It ain’t too big nor too small. But, there are people who live here that hate it. I don’t know why, but they try to tear it apart constantly. We had our mayoral race recently, and politics were definitely dirty. In a town of 20,000 people, you’re bound to know folks on either side of the debate. So, this week we’ve got questions from around the nation about politics and the news.

What do you think of Hillary Clinton running for president, and will you vote for her?-Staci K., Chicago, IL.

The only running that goofy tramp needs to do is into a hidey hole somewhere. With all the bullshit scandals she’s been a part of over her life she should be lucky to be walking free. Put her in that same boat with Obama, then sink it. And HELL NO I ain’t voting for her! The only way I’d pass a ballot her way is if I was voting her off a special episode of Survivor where whoever gets cast off literally is cast off the island. Into the ocean. Off the tip of South Africa. Dressed in a seal costume. If you don’t get that reference wait for Shark Week.


Are there any presidential candidates you see that might be worthy and better than Obama?-Wayne F., Ocala, FL.

Pick one? I mean, ANYBODY (except Hillary) would probably be better than him. What we need is a dude (yes a guy, we ain’t ready for a female president yet) who wants to go back to how this country used to be ran. I’m so sick of people saying they want change, they want diversity. Bullshit, as soon as one tiny thing doesn’t go their way they scream that they’ve been wronged. Remember how excited everyone was for ObamaCare?! CHEAPER HEALTH INSURANCE FOR EVERYONE, right?! Well, turns out, they’ll FINE you if you don’t have any insurance! Makes a lotta sense, don’t it? Still want change, America?


I see a lot of southerners calling for Obama to be impeached, why?-Robert C., Washington, D.C..

Well, it don’t take a genius to figure that out. Billiam Clinton got impeached for being unfaithful to his wife. Which in MY opinion has fueled her ravenous quest for the White House. Maybe once she gets in office she’ll bang an assistant or something. That would be a hell of a story. “Woman waits 20 years to occupy former office of husband, sleeps with secretary to get back at him on same desk he received fellatio under.” Seriously, though. Bill got a Ben and Jerry’s under a desk, and Obama has been blowing this country apart for 8 years. How do you get fired for screwing an aide but not for screwing the COUNTRY? That, my friends, is the definition of racism.


Tweet your questions or send them to my email: @StetsonAshpaugh and therealstetson@hotmail.com.

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