Have you ever found yourself checking for the roasting date on a bag of whole coffee beans, or grinding your own fresh peanut butter, or buying some cheesecloth to make some homemade fresh cheese and wondered, ‘am I a food snob?’ Do you ever hope you don’t run into anyone who recognizes you if you go to a fast food restaurant? Do you have craft beer brewing in your home right now?
If so, this list will help you find out if you are indeed a food snob:
You detest the term ‘food snob’, prefer ‘culinary connoisseur.’
You look down on donuts, but beignets are A-OK.
You think tap water in a glass is for commoners, but you pay $3 for a bottle of water in a plastic container you will then throw away; and yet you still feel environmentally conscious.
You don’t realize ‘charcuterie’ is another word for ‘cold cuts’ just 10 times more expensive
If you’ve ever asked a restaurant employee if the ground beef they’re using is sustainably sourced…and you’re at a McDonald’s drive-thru.
You grow your own organic catnip, and you don’t even have a cat.
You think your farts don’t stink because they are from artisanal cheese and you refer to them as ‘flatulence du jour.’
You finally get to the front of the line at the trendiest coffee shop in town and then pull out your cell phone to call the office and ask everybody what they want while you recite the entire menu out loud (this one actually happened to me in L.A., yes I was there because I’m a food snob, how do you think I came up with this list?)
You insist it’s not moldy cheese, it’s bleu cheese.
You give out Whole Food coupons to kids who come to your door on Halloween.
You have eaten yogurt not just made by a human, but made from a human.
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