This week marked the beginning of the best time of the year: baseball season. FINALLY a time when college football and NBA don’t fill up my newsfeeds. Also, it marks over 5 months we’ve been doing this ridiculousness, so let’s cheer for that too!
Is it true women from the South have dirty mouths? As in their language, not hygienically.-Jake P., St. Paul, MN.
Oh yeah, gals down here ain’t afraid to tell you what they think. They’ll call you any name in the book if you piss em off, and don’t even think about calling one a bitch. I seen a girl once get called that by another, and let’s just say the callee put the caller in the hospital. Six months later we were married. Love ya honey!
I watched the movie Twister, do storms like that really happen in the south?-Janet R., Washington, D.C.
Unfortunately, they do. Joplin, Missouri, Moore, Oklahoma and Greensburg, Kansas are three towns that have been massively affected by severe thunderstorms that produced tornadoes. Now, I know a few people that if a single thunderhead booms, they’re in the cellar. Me and my wife? We sit on the front porch and watch it. Hell, in 2010 me and a buddy chased a tornado that tore up the southern part of Hammon, OK just 15 miles north of us. Lemme give you some advice people: don’t be afraid of weather. Respect it, understand that anything can happen at anytime, but don’t fear it. Mother Nature is like your mother in law, ruthless, crooked and crazy, all while being beautiful in its own way.
Why is the south called the Bible Belt?-Jim C., Pittsburg, PA.
That’s a pretty self answering question, Jimmy. We all wear belts that have Bible verses on them. DUH!! It’s because once you cross that belt line, you’re in God’s country. Beautiful rolling hills of greens, blues, reds and purples. Mountains so pretty they make you smile. Also, the women down here are clearly heaven sent. Can you shoot a hog on the run with a 30-06? Our girls can. That’s an angel, my friend.
Tweet your questions or send them to my email: @StetsonAshpaugh and firstname.lastname@example.org.
Check out all the ‘Ask A Redneck’s’ here at absrdCOMEDY!
© Absrd Comedy, LLC – a parody site for entertainment purposes only. Laugh. Enjoy! Individual opinions expressed are those of the individual authors, not necessarily of absrdComedy, and may not even be those of the individual authors.