Fitness in a Flash with Paolo v.9

0

Paolo Busignani is an Exercise Physiologist by trade.

Paolo Busignani

Meaning it sounds like he’s smart, but no one really knows what he does. He is qualified to answer your fitness questions because he wears tight black shirts and warm up pants.

Dear Paolo,
How can I convince my dad to exercise more?
Rose

Dear Rose,
It’s hard for people to motivate themselves so sometimes we need to motivate them. There is a motivation technique called the Wolverine method, patented by my friends at the University of Michigan. Here’s what you do. You go out into the woods and capture a male wolverine. Then, you replace your dad’s body wash with pheromones from a female wolverine and turn the male wolverine loose in your dad’s house. Your dad will have to run so fast to escape, that he will have no choice but to exercise.


Dear Paolo,
My buddy claims his core is stronger than mine. What’s the best way to settle this?
Johnny

Dear Johnny,
Some people claim to have rock hard abs. We all know that sledgehammers are used to break rocks. So, take turns with your friend in hitting each other in the stomach with a sledgehammer. If it bounces off and you don’t have internal hemorrhaging, you have the stronger core.


Dear Paolo,
If I go all out in a race, am I increasing my risk of a heart attack?
Cliff

Dear Cliff,
A heart attack is when the heart cannot keep up with the demands of the body. So if you had a heart attack, then your body is lagging behind your heart and you need to train harder.


Tweet your questions to Paolo on twitter: @paolobusignani


© Absrd Comedy, LLC – a parody site for entertainment purposes only. Laugh. Enjoy! Individual opinions expressed are those of the individual authors, not necessarily of absrdComedy, and may not even be those of the individual authors.

Comments are closed.