Hey folks! Did you miss me?! I apologize to those of you who have been loyal to me and this thing we call Ask A Redneck. You’ve been amazing, and I hated to let you down. Had some personal things come up, along with a crazy work schedule and a laptop on the fritz, they combined to make a 3 week hiatus for me. But I’m BACK and better than ever!!
What do you think of the happenings at the University of Oklahoma, since you’re from there?-Steve S., Hartford, CT.
Well, I’m disgusted. Flabbergasted. Appalled. Constipated even. But, to classify anyone from Oklahoma as a racist because a few idiots decided to holler some crappy ass chant on a bus is even more idiotic. Why? T
1-two of the guys in the video weren’t even from Oklahoma. Suck it.
2-they were all expelled from the school. Suck. It. And
3-I’VE ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT WE’RE NOT ALL RACISTS!! SUCK IT!!!
What’s the big deal with George Strait?-Dale D., Tacoma, WA.
What’s the big deal…? WHAT’S THE BIG DEAL?! The man is a living legend! He’s the ONLY artist to ever record 60 number 1 hits! Have you SEEN Pure Country?! Man, I can’t believe you don’t know what the big deal is. Were you dropped on your head as an infant? He’s more of a man than you’ll ever be buddy.
To spank or not to spank? What do you think about discipline?-Meggan D., Palo Alto, CA.
To be honest: I spank my kids. When I’ve exhausted all other forms of punishment for wrongdoing, a good ol ass whoopin seems to do the trick. See, that’s the problem with parents nowadays. ‘Oh little Johnny’s just expressing himself.’ No lady, he’s throwing a damn temper tantrum in a decent restaurant because you ain’t got the balls to jerk his spoiled brat ass up and swat him one good time. Of course they don’t serve ‘chicken dinosaurs’ you little heathen, it’s Applebee’s. Control your kids, sheesh.
Tweet your questions or send them to my email: @StetsonAshpaugh and email@example.com.
Check out all the ‘Ask A Redneck’s’ here at absrdCOMEDY!
© Absrd Comedy, LLC – a parody site for entertainment purposes only. Laugh. Enjoy! Individual opinions expressed are those of the individual authors, not necessarily of absrdComedy, and may not even be those of the individual authors.