Zombie Prep School Causes Stir In Atlanta


Atlanta, GA – A new private school is causing quite a stir in Atlanta. Rarely do people protest, picket and surround private schools with shotguns and riot gear — except during the occasional homecoming perhaps. However, this is a daily occurrence at Zed Prep.

Zed Prep was set up by a small collective of private investors to teach their students such things as etiquette and the social nuances they need in order to survive, which normally is considered a positive thing for kids these days.  But in this instance, the students are Zombies.

“We find all this attention rather flattering,” says Principal Adam, who obtained the job after five years experience as a zombie, and the previous Principle received a head shot during a baseball game. “It not only shows that what we are doing is working, but helps keep trouble making students in line. Or ‘expelling’ the chronic Zombie.”

Zombie Prep School Causes Stir In Atlanta

Principal Adam Believes An Educated Zombie Is The Best Kind Of Zombie

The program is, no doubt, very rigorous and helps to weed out the truly feral, from those who can contribute somehow to society.

A list of the curriculum shows students learning such things as manners at the dinner table, how to dress, walk without so much of a shuffle, cooking for guests, in addition to vocational studies.

Generally, only three out of every five students make it through the program, which might seem low, but at 67 percent, matches the graduation rates for Georgia schools as a whole.

There are, of course, people who don’t like the idea of Zombies in school, especially disliking new students, all of whom are feral.

“My neighbor Jackie was always so violent, we stayed away from her,” says Amber Ackley. “But three weeks into it, she came and knocked on our door. John, my husband, opened the door and was taken completely by surprise. After eating his face off, she left a plate of cookies on him. Which, I admit, tasted pretty good after the funeral.”

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