Kanye West Inspires After Revealing Himself To Be A Zombie

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Los Angeles, CA- Despite his reputation for being full of himself, Kanye West recently showed the zombie crowd he’s really just full of other people, as he came out as a zombie last week at a zombie convention.

After feeding on several of his haters, Kanye demonstrated his more caring side by giving a little speech.

While the majority of it was various things he’d already said in the past, it confirmed to many zombies he’d been waiting for just the right time to step out.

“At the end of the day I’m going down as a legend whether you like me or not,” mumbled Kanye. “I’m the new Jim Morrison. I’m the new Kurt Cobain.”

Many people there felt this was accurate, in hindsight, “Because both singers are dead, but live on, much like me.” said Meredith Silverman, a zombie herself at the time of Cobain’s death.

But perhaps his most influential moment, which brought dust to many a zombies’ eyes was when he reminded people, “People never change, they just become better at hiding who they really are.”

To zombies, this sentiment is truth incarnate. They have, in many cases, hidden who they are so well, they can’t even remember who that was.

“Which is what causes many of them, including myself, to become violent, especially in the early stages,” Silverman explained.

Hopefully, Kanye gave hope to those still struggling with their new life; can continue to inspire them; and can eventually catch up with the Kardashians.


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