Lovely Liz’s Must Have Beauty Tips Vol.9


Meet Lovely Liz. She’s a 20-something millennial serving as absrdCOMEDY’s resident beauty pundit.

Liz Zharovsky

She rarely looks put together herself, but she can certainly tell you how to do it. Get all of your essential beauty & health questions answered here!

Dear Lovely Liz,
How can I pull off the stuff celebrities wear on the Red Carpet? It seems impossible!

Oscar The Grouch

Dear Oscar The Grouch,
I’m not sure if you’re a boy or a girl. If you’re a boy, they make tuxes in all sizes. If you’re a girl, they make dresses in all sizes. The only way you can’t pull it off is if your body physically does not fit into the outfit. Anyway, even if you want to wear the stuff they wear, I’m pretty sure you don’t want to pay $3000 for one shoe.

Dear Lovely Liz,
Every time I go to the salon, I ask them to give me a haircut in the style of a celebrity, but it never comes out the same. What can I do to my hair to make it more cooperative?

A Hairy Situation

Dear A Hairy Situation,
For starters, maybe you should find a different salon if your haircuts never come out the way you want them to. Also, did you know that celebrities have approximately 5 top-notch hair dressers working on them all the time? They lead pretty luxurious lives, so just be happy you have hair at all.

Dear Lovely Liz,
I recently got bangs because I thought it’d make me look more like Abbi Jacobson, but they look awful on my face! How can I hide them?

Bang Bang

Dear Bang Bang,
Abbi Jacobson is really adorable, so I can’t blame you. But just a rule of thumb, there are very few people who actually look good with full frontal bangage. Either chop them off entirely or clip them back every day, because you probably look like an 11 year old right now.

Want more of Lovely Liz’s Beauty Tips?

Want to be beautiful? Tweet your health/beauty questions to @LizZharovsky

© Absrd Comedy, LLC – a parody site for entertainment purposes only. Laugh. Enjoy! Individual opinions expressed are those of the individual authors, not necessarily of absrdComedy, and may not even be those of the individual authors.

Meet Lovely Liz. She’s a 20-something millennial serving as absrdCOMEDY’s resident beauty pundit.

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