NEW YORK CITY, NY– NBC “Nightly News” anchor, Brian Williams, has been suspended for six months for telling a false story about a helicopter crash he was involved with in Iraq. According to Williams, a rocket-propelled grenade struck the tail of a helicopter he was in while covering a 2003 news story during the Iraq War. Many media outlets gathered at Rockefeller Center for a press conference featuring Williams as he addresses the suspension.
“I just got sloppy, real lazy with the lie,” Williams stated.
A reporter from “The New York Times” asked Williams where the idea came from. “I was flipping through channels when the movie, ‘Black Hawk Down’ was on and I just wanted to look cool like Josh Hartnett,” Williams admitted shamefully.
The main question floating around the room was, what was Williams going to do with his six months off without pay?
“The six month suspension is going to be enough time to come back even stronger with some solid fabricated stories,” exclaimed Williams at the press conference.
“I’ve been watching a lot of “Dr. Who” lately, I think I’m going to build a T.A.R.D.I.S and travel through space and time, you know, do some real trippy shit,” said Williams as he leaned on the podium. “I imagine I’ll come up with some boss tall tales right there.”
Williams gazed off into the distance with his chin high as though he were posing for a Renaissance painting as he delivered his final statement of the press conference.
“Maybe this will give me time to write my tell-all book on the time I got into a fist fight with Gandalf the Grey; you don’t see Tom Brokaw doing some of the sick shit I do,” finished Williams as he put on some aviator sunglasses and threw up a peace sign.
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