Woman Finally Accepts Her Body Is Not An Actual Piece of Meat

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In an effort to promote positive and literal body image, Kate Milton of Simi Valley, CA, took to the internet declaring, “My body is not an actual piece of meat. But I’m here to say ‘that’s okay.”’

Milton says she’s suffered from years of bullying over her not-so-farm-to-table body. “I’d look around and see other girls standing on a pair of gorgeous hot dogs and think ‘will I ever be as kosher as them?”’

Milton says feeling confident in the dating scene has also been a struggle for her. She often felt inferior to her peers, as men would constantly ogle at her friends’ braised backsides or their ample, sensuous racks of lamb. “I had to learn to accept my humanoid figure; what other choice do I have? Waste away in the inedible aisle?”

The real turning point for her was discovering LA’s vegan culture. She says embracing a more accepting and meat-free lifestyle introduced her to alternative options that help to quell her insecurities, even in the bedroom! “I’ve been using this really great marinade-based lube, and when my husband and I fool around he often jokes, ‘You taste just like chicken!’”

It was actually through her affiliation with this community Milton met her husband, David, who achieved his own body acceptance when coming to terms with his less than perfect pair of matzoh balls. “We all come from different backgrounds and GMOs. But it’s important to remember that a char-broiled exterior is really just the coating for a tender and juicy interior.”

We’ve never heard a more poetic sentiment.

We’re thankful to Milton for her bravery in taking a stand for the meatless women of America. The lesson we can all take away is: whether you have an 8oz flank or a flavorful shank, at least you’re not a real woman.


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