Touching Tips: Gay Answers to Straight Questions Vol. 9

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This is Travis. He is 25-year-old graphic designer and stand up comic. He wears glasses, listens to Spotify, likes sports and enjoys craft beer. Just like every normal person. Oh, and he’s gay.

Touching Tips: Gay Answers to Straight Questions

Everyone knows somebody that is gay. In Touching Tips, Travis will answer all those burning questions you’ve wanted to ask that gay friend but didn’t want to appear as if you voted for Mitt Romney or Michelle Bachmann. This is a judgment free zone.

Dear Travis,

Do you have a hard time not staring at other men’s crotches?

Signed,
X-ray Vision

Dear X-ray Vision,

I know you’re asking this because you’re curious if you had a gay man’s “X-ray vision” on your crotch. It also tells me that you have no clue how to detect if it is in fact happening, which means, we are doing are job to a level only described as masterful. Enjoy going to the bar on any given weekend now that you have that knowledge in the back of your mind.

Dear Travis,

What’s the deal with the gays and rainbows? I like rainbows.

Signed,
Color Lover

Dear Color Lover,

Back when the first gays were assembling, you know at the beginning of time? Remember Adam and the other one? Steve I think if my memory serves me right. We couldn’t figure out what color would best represent us as a whole. So we just decided to go with all of them. Thus, the rainbow.

Dear Travis,

Do you think when gays get married their sex life dwindles like straight couples?

Sincerely,
Derek A.

Dear Derek,

First off I want to say that I wouldn’t know because I can’t get married where I live currently. But if I had to take a guess, I would say that gay married sex life is like a MILLION times better that straight couples. I say this because at first, newly weds might have a great sex life. Then kid number one pops out, and now sex is a chore at best. Sooner or later its not like it used to be, it’s now just solely a baby maker to get a better tax refund.

Last I checked, the gays don’t have that issue. Sorry about your terrible misfortune, breeders.


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Got any burning gay questions that you’d like to ask Travis? Tweet them to @travisspotts.


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