NFL Fines Tom Brady For Talking Too Much

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GLENDALE, AZ— The NFL is notorious for handing out fines to their athletes for not addressing the media before and after games. But what about fines for talking too much?

The NFL has fined the New England Patriots quarterback, Tom Brady, for doing just that . On Media Day for the upcoming Superbowl XLIX between the New England Patriots and Seattle Seahawks, various media outlets get their chance to direct questions toward the players involved.

A mob of reporters gathered around Brady’s booth in anticipation of what he might say about Sunday’s game. Although, the antsy reporters bit off more than they can chew when Brady decided to start the media conference with a 43-hour long answer to the very first question addressed toward him from ESPN reporter, Tedy Bruschi.

“He talked about everything from his Aunt Martha’s famous clam chowder to the various sizes of jock straps team mate Rob Gronkowski wears, and all I asked him was, ‘what was on his mind?” cried Tedy.

Witnesses report Brady just stood up instantly, untied his tie and said, “Look like it’s filibuster time.”

Brady paced back and forth while addressing the crowd about his every day worries such as: forgetting his Netflix password, hotel WIFI going out, and the music of American traditional pop music singer, Jo Stafford.

A reporter from NBC tried to interrupt Brady about 34 minutes into his rant but was frozen by Brady’s stone-cold gaze.

“People were just too scared to move,” shrieked NFL Network reporter, Erin Coscarelli. “I even witnessed one woman give birth there.”

An underground network of workers were brought in to sneak provisions to the petrified reporters.

Brady is expected to pay about $20,000 for the media stunt. No comments from Tom Brady about the fine because literally everyone is afraid to ask him another question.


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