Truck Driver Wakes Up With Map Of New Jersey In His Armpit

0

NEW JERSEY — Truck driver Sebastian Kendall, of Wilmette, South Carolina, was driving through New Jersey last week, when he pulled over into the Garden State Parkway rest area near exit 16, at the Ocean View Rest Area at Mile Marker 18.3.

“I took off my shoes to take a little walk in the grassy knoll area, it was about four o’clock in the morning,” said Kendall. “Just then, there’s this huge flash of lightning in the sky—made my right armpit feet all hot and tingly and shit.”

Truck Driver Wakes Up With Map Of New Jersey In His Armpit

Jersey armpits were all the rage in the 1970’s

“About 10 minutes later, I went on back to my truck cabin to go to bed. And when I woke up two hours laters, in the morning, there was this birthmark of New Jersey under my arm. Darndest fucking thing I ever saw.”

A state trooper who wished to remain anonymous, told us this is not the first time this happened.

“I heard that 42 years ago, a cab driver from New York fell asleep in same rest area, and woke up with a picture of the George Washington Bridge on his buttocks,” he said.

Then back in ’81, a state trooper pulled over at the site to rest, and woke up with “a picture of Joe Piscopo on his chest.”

Calls to the Garden State Parkway commission went unreturned, and the New Jersey Department of Health indicated that “an investigation was under way”.


© Absrd Comedy, LLC – a parody site for entertainment purposes only. Laugh. Enjoy! Individual opinions expressed are those of the individual authors, not necessarily of absrdComedy, and may not even be those of the individual authors.

Comments are closed.