Stetson Presents: Ask a Redneck 14


Have I mentioned I’m a dad? I think I have, it’s quite the blessing. By blessing I mean I get funny stories from my kids. Their ages range from 11 to 3 months, and there’s 6 of em. So this week we’re gonna discuss kids on Ask A Redneck.

I’ve heard that rednecks are not afraid to spank their kids, is this true? And at what line does it cross into abuse?-Jill K., Muncie, IN.

Well Jill, yes, we do spank our kids when they need it. Too many parents these days allow their children to run the roost cause their too chicken to stand up to them. My kids know when we go to a public place that they are to behave. If not, the wrath of daddy comes to life. I don’t ‘beat their asses’ but I am not afraid to spank my kids. It crosses the line when a parent takes it too far. How far? Oh I don’t know, rectal and penile bleeding from a switch? Bruised and battered limbs 10 days after the initial hit? Should have been jail time, but this certain guy got to keep playing football. Way to go, America.

What’s the funniest thing one of your kids has ever said?-Harold H., Bismarck, ND.

Hmm, that’s a doozy. My kids are hilarious in that they all have their own personalities and sense of humor. I can really only say what my boys have said, neither of my girls can talk yet. So, here’s the best line from each boy: “When I get big, I’m gonna say bad words and drink beer like Uncle Cody,” Lane, age 5. “If I make it to the NFL, when I’m 28, I’ll have a wife and a girlfriend,” Logan, age 10. “That’s ridicallis!!” Hunter, age 6. “Fire safety rule number one should be don’t put your butt in the fire!” Blayne, age 7.

Does your oilfield job affect your children?-Deedra P., Phoenix, AZ.

That depends on what you mean by affect. Does it take time away from them? Yes, but that just means when I am home that I spend extra time with them. But my kids are also proud of their daddy, I possess a skill set 99% of the population doesn’t have. I tell my kids every day that I go to work for them so they can have a chance to succeed in life. That and the money. No sense lying to them, right?

Tweet your questions or send them to my email: @StetsonAshpaugh and

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