Lovely Liz’s Must Have Beauty Tips Vol.5

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Meet Lovely Liz. She’s a 20-something millennial serving as absrdCOMEDY’s resident beauty pundit.

Liz Zharovsky

She rarely looks put together herself, but she can certainly tell you how to do it. Get all of your essential beauty & health questions answered here!

Dear Lovely Liz,
I’m not very pretty, but I think I have a really great personality when you get to know me. My problem is I’m not outgoing enough to show my personality off to everyone, so it’s been a while since I’ve met a guy. How can I reel them in?

Sincerely,
Shy and Dry

Dear Shy and Dry,
This is bordering on dating advice, which is not my forte. But hey, you can be the ugliest person the in the world (and from the sound of it, maybe you are?) and if you’re exuding confidence, it’ll attract people to you. Also, try dabbling on some lipstick and putting a little mousse in your hair. Last but certainly not least, put up a misleadingly beautiful photo of yourself on Tinder and meet people that way!

Dear Lovely Liz,
I just finished my first semester of college and put on the Freshman 15 plus a few. It’s hard to find time to work out and the only good food the cafeteria offers is pizza. Should I stop eating??

Sincerely,
Freshman Fatty

Dear Freshman Fatty,
You only eat pizza and you don’t work out. You’re making my job really hard here, F-squared. YOU SHOULD NOT STOP EATING YOU IDIOT, but you should probably go to the supermarket and buy some vegetables. I mean, Jesus, eat some broccoli or something.

Dear Lovely Liz,
Will eggnog make me fat?

Sincerely,
Christmas Christie

Dear Christmas Christie,
Yes. But there’s a way out – you use the worst quality eggs and that way you’ll actually lose weight by having excessive diarrhea!


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Meet Lovely Liz. She’s a 20-something millennial serving as absrdCOMEDY’s resident beauty pundit.

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