Lovely Liz’s Must Have Beauty Tips Vol.3

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Meet Lovely Liz. She’s a 20-something millennial serving as absrdCOMEDY’s resident beauty pundit.

Liz Zharovsky

She rarely looks put together herself, but she can certainly tell you how to do it. Get all of your essential beauty & health questions answered here!

Dear Lovely Liz,
What nail polish brand stays on the longest and doesn’t chip?

Sincerely,
Chip off the Old Block

Dear Chip off the Old Block,
I really like Essie and OPI, but when it really comes down to it, all nail polish is made of synthetic chemicals that probably give us cancer or chronic foot cramps or something. Maybe consider growing your own henna tree and then using the pigments to dye your nails. It’s a foolproof plan!

Dear Lovely Liz,
I’ve been really stressed out lately and have been stress eating. I’ve put on 10 pounds in 2 months. How can I lose the weight and stop the cravings?

Sincerely,
Fatter & Sadder

Dear Fatter & Sadder,
Look, I’m no psychiatrist, but it sounds like you might have some self-control issues. Instead of eating, get yourself a puppy or two. They’re adorable and great stress relievers. Plus, you can feed some of your snacks to the puppies instead of eating them yourself.

Dear Lovely Liz,
Do you know of any make-up deals happening on Cyber Monday?

Sincerely,
Shopping on a budget

Dear Shopping on a budget,
Cyber Monday is seen as this glorious day full of sales all over the Internet, and you don’t even need to stand in line or even put on pants to buy all of the useless tchotchkes you wouldn’t buy unless they had the word “Sale” all over them. You’re not saving any money by buying make-up online – you’re just going to pay it in shipping or “transaction fees” (pretty sure those go directly to an infinite vortex of money swirling around in a particular crevice of the Galapagos Islands). My advice? Put on pants or at least a robe and go to Sephora or a department store. You’ll be better off and way prettier.


Want to be beautiful? Tweet your health/beauty questions to @LizZharovsky


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