Your Not-Cute Vacation Photos Are Being Hacked


The joys of having a digital camera allow you to take as many pictures as you possible can, and only share the ones that truly showcase your best life.

However, it was recently revealed that those not-so-flattering vacation pictures that you thought you deleted have resurfaced on various social media outlets, and the perfect life you believed you were projecting is in danger.

You know that selfie you thought you erased of you eating spaghetti in Italy that ended up being a shot straight up your nostril? It’s just been posted to your Instagram.

What about the pic of you kissing your boyfriend in front of the Eiffel Tower where he looks less like Channing Tatum and more like Carol Channing? It’s up on your Twitter feed right now! Uh-oh, same goes for that picture where you forgot to put your hand on your hip in front of the Taj Mahal and you look at least two and half pounds heavier.

Sources say that the viral hacking is a glitch in the picture taking technology. We’ve all heard of the threat of computers being able to think for themselves. Well, guess what? It’s happening.

Your Not-Cute Vacation Photos Are Being Hacked

No Photo Is Safe.

It all started with newer and better features created with the intention of making you a better photographer: auto focus, facial recognition, etc. The latest application is the “selfie assist,” which has mutated itself into a “self-assist,” and is now programmed to force you to face yourself honestly, pointing out the hard truths in your life.

You may be asking yourself, “Self, how can I go back to projecting perfectionism?”

You can’t.

Sure, you can ignore the comments that ask if you are okay after that picture of you pretending to hump the Lincoln Memorial showed up on your Grandma’s Facebook page.

But no matter how much you ignore the situation, the truths about your defective life are already out there. Even if you try to balance those pictures with positive, yet still vague posts like…

“We’re doing it guys! We’re really doing it!”

“T-minus 8 days until it all happens!”

…the memory of the negative pictures live on and our image of you is forever a combination of the good and, (gasp) the bad.

So, the best thing that you can do to avoid further damage to your once flawless image is to take preventative measures. On days you don’t look your best, wear a well-tinted motorcycle helmet to avoid the possibility of being recognized in a potentially unflattering photo. Yes, even wear it to bed and especially in the shower. And when you see someone taking a picture that doesn’t showcase your best side, knock the camera straight from their hands. Better to waste a few hundred bucks than risk having a pic of your double chin showcased for all eternity.

© Absrd Comedy, LLC – a parody site for entertainment purposes only. Laugh. Enjoy! Individual opinions expressed are those of the individual authors, not necessarily of absrdComedy, and may not even be those of the individual authors.

photo credit: Jason Whittaker via photopin cc

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