Ice Cream Best Medicine For Owies, Boo-Boos

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CAMBRIDGE, MA – Move over laughter, ice cream is the new best medicine for minor injuries in minors.

According to a study by Harvard Medical School, children ages 2 to 12 years old suffering from bumps, scrapes and bruises recover more quickly when given ice cream than children who aren’t.

“We observed a 30% decrease in whining and a 20% decrease in crying,” said researcher Kevin Wentworth.

Brightly colored flavors such as strawberry and mint chocolate chip showed the best results, but vanilla covered with rainbow sprinkles had the same effect. However, further studies showed that ice cream’s healing properties don’t seem to have the same effect on all types of pain.

“Billy just found out his parents are getting divorced. We’ve given him two helpings of ice cream, sprinkles and all, but he won’t stop crying about how daddy’s gone and mommy drinks a lot,” Wentworth continued. “It’s a disappointing outcome, but we are looking into alternative treatments.”

He went on to say that preliminary experiments involving licking brownie batter off a spatula have seen impressive results in lab mice, and they hope to get approval for human testing in 2015.


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