18 Skymall Products You Didn’t Know You Needed

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10. Super Weiner Garden Sculpture

Someone buy this for me, please.

Someone buy this for me, please.

This is the only thing in the catalogue that I actually contemplated. The only problem is that I don’t have a garden. Otherwise, it would have been a done deal.


11. 16th Century Replica Italian Armor Statue

This will give you Knightmares.

This will give you Knightmares.

This six-foot tall full-sized suit of armor on a Medieval museum mount is a must have for…no one. Sure, it’s almost $1000 which is more than a full-month’s rent, but answer me this, when your landlord knocks on your door demanding rent money, and a fucking KNIGHT answers, let’s just say he won’t be bothering you any more. The real price of this product is actually $995 plus $99 in parentheses. Seriously. The catalogue reads $995 (+99*) which I’ve never seen before and is so brilliantly stupid.


12. Cat Lady Handheld Mirror

Cause when you spend all your time alone in your house with cats, you have to look your best.

Cause when you spend all your time alone in your house with cats, you have to look your best.

If you’re a cat lady, chances are you spend a lot of time looking at yourself in the mirror. Now, you can stare loneliness in the face with this cat lady mirror for only $20. But only if you call MEOW.

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These are real Skymall products – you should totally go buy them.

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