The Bone Eaters: A Completely Unbiased Review

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My wonderful son just wrote a book and, I have to say, it is remarkable.

The book is called “The Bone Eaters.” It’s being sold on Amazon Dot Com, which my son says also sells John Grisham books, so you know it’s not some fly-by-night kind of an affair. He also says you can buy the electronic book there. But those just simply aren’t for me.

I don’t even know how to describe the book. It’s so clever, just like my son. And it is funny. So funny. Can you believe my little boy who used to cry during nap-time because he was sad that “wild creatures like squirrels and monkeys didn’t get to have nap time” would be able to write such a thing? He’s such a blessing.

The Bone Eaters: A Completely Unbiased Review

This is the book my son wrote. Doesn’t it look great?

The story is just so smart. The main characters are a private detective and a policeman. I picture the private investigator as sort of a Jim Rockford type: he’s smart and a little eccentric.

The private detective is smart and a little eccentric and his specialty is monsters. In the book, you see, monsters are as real as you and me. There are vampires and werewolves and Frankenstein-type monsters. But everyone treats it very matter-of-factly because it is just part of everyday life. And the policeman is black.

But what is really funny is all of the other characters. There is another policeman. This one is Greek. And he is just the most hilariously dense person. And I know my son means no disrespect to Greeks since I’ve known some who were quite bright. But this one is a dim bulb, and he is hilarious. There is also a girl character. And she is just the sweetest thing. I think it says a lot about a man that he can make up such a cute girl character. She’s a scientist. My daughter is a lawyer. A scientist is a good job, too.

This scientist is just having the worst luck with men. So she gets this idea that she is going to start wearing shorter and shorter skirts in order to test the reaction.

So she’s wearing these very racy outfits and that’s saying something in this day and age where it seems women have no shame at all. Not like my daughter-in-law who is quite a lady.

I already mentioned the monsters. You see, everyone thinks that the monsters have all been taken care of. But, it turns out that there are still quite a few around. They are just keeping a low profile. So, you’ve got all of these crazy characters and then there’s this new kind of monster that actually eats human bones. I don’t know how my son thinks of this. My husband and I tried escargot once when we were traveling and it is just not for me, thank you very much.

I know I am not doing a very good job of explaining this. My son-in-law — my daughter’s husband who is also an attorney — said it reminded him of Christopher Moore. I never thought he was a convincing James Bond, though. I liked the other one.

So you really must read “The Bone Eaters.” It’s just a lot of fun. And it’s got a picture of my son on the back.

BUY THE BOOK AT AMAZON!! Buy the book today!


P.S. Here is the description I re-typed from the back of the book. That might help you understand what it is about.

The Bone Eaters: A Completely Unbiased Review

This is my son Keith, isn’t he handsome and smart.

A vampire, a werewolf and the Detroit Police Department’s most incompetent Inhuman Crimes Unit officer walk into a bar.

Oh, and so does the CEO of a pharmaceutical company which is hiding a terrible secret.

And also the charismatic pastor of a Detroit mega-church/casino who is enraged that the corpse of one of his flock may have been reanimated as part of a mafia-run zombie fight club.

And let’s not even get into the young pharmacology researcher conducting a controlled experiment to figure out why men never call her for a second date.

In “The Bone Eaters,” newly minted private eye, Nick Slipwick, joins forces with Lieutenant Amato to unravel these mysteries. They discover more than they expect: vampires weren’t driven from North America 200 years ago after all, the werewolf fences that surround every town and city may not be as effective as everyone thinks, and a creature is stalking the night who is completely unlike all of the regular monsters you learn about in social studies.

And not just because he is somewhat obsessed with Dirty Dancing.

“The Bone Eaters” is a fast-moving, genre-skewering comedy lovingly satirizing horror, mystery and ‘chick lit.’ The novel brings together multiple interwoven story lines into a fun and satisfying conclusion. Just like we’re praying George R. R. Martin does.

The Bone Eaters: 50% humor, 50% horror, 50% mystery, and 50% romance. It’s twice the entertainment of a regular book.

P.P.S. My son sent me a review that someone wrote on a computer book log.

“It’s called a ‘blog.’”

Like you know what you’re talking about. This is what a nice girl named Angie Nickell wrote about my son’s book on her computer book log:

“I was laughing out loud throughout this one. The characters are a riot. Nick and Amato make for a fun, comical crime-fighting duo. I loved Stacy and her quest to understand just how short her skirt needs to be in order to get a second date…with spreadsheets and science! And the Bone Eater, himself was quite the interesting monster. I have never seen anything like that before. Detective Feta was a particularly hilarious character and I found myself cackling at his antics.

So, I say read it! I know sometimes indie books are hit or miss, but this one knocked it out of the park. It is rare for me to feel as enthusiastic as I do for an indie book, but this one really was worth getting excited for. I think this author is destined for good things, and I really hope there are more Nick and Amato books!”

P.P.P.S. I’m going to include some pictures of my grand-kids.

The Bone Eaters

My Grand-kids

P.P.P.P.S.
Why haven’t you bought it yet? Click here to buy it and make me proud of my boy.

© Absrd Comedy, LLC – a parody site for entertainment purposes only. Laugh. Enjoy! Individual opinions expressed are those of the individual authors, not necessarily of absrdComedy, and may not even be those of the individual authors.

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