ATLANTA, GA — In a press conference late last evening, the CEO of Coca-Cola finally revealed that the company’s long sought-after secret ingredient is, in fact, Pepsi.
“We couldn’t seem to hide it any longer,” said Muhtar Kent, CEO of Coca-Cola. “We just felt it was the right time to finally come out of hiding and let the world know the truth.
The announcement came after a recent investigation by the FBI into possible similarities of Coca-Cola and Pepsi.
“We are proud that Kent and Coca-Cola have finally come to terms with our findings,” Special Agent Fritz reported. “Finally we have settled the debate—Coke and Pepsi are truly the same drink.”
This investigation was prompted after the loss of the cocaine ingredient in Coca-Cola led the company to investigate new alternatives for a secret ingredient.
“We tried using Mountain Dew and Root Beer as our secret ingredient,” Kent continued, “but nothing compares to Pepsi.”
Some in the company, however, are not as supportive of the company’s decision to announce as Kent.
“We had something here at Coca-Cola,” said an anonymous high-ranking member of Coca-Cola. “We made so much money tricking people into thinking there was a difference between Coke and Pepsi, and they’ve ruined it!”
In a later press conference, the CEO of Pepsi revealed that its secret ingredient is also Pepsi.
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