Exasperated President Obama Admits Some Drone Strikes Result in Oopsies

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At a White House Press conference today, press members pressed President Obama for comment on the number of children who received ouches in U.S. drone strikes in Pakistan since he took office. After dodging the question as long as he could, the exasperated president finally broke down and admitted that he’s made some oopsies in his war on terror.

“Look,” the President pleaded, “We are doing everything we can to make sure we’re only hitting high level targets. But sometimes you forget there might be children at a wedding, and you make an oopsy. And when oopsies happen, sometimes children get ouchies. But we’re fighting a war on terror. And when you fight a war on terror, oopsies happen.”

White house press secretary Josh Earnest assured the nation that each oopsy resulting in the ouchie of a child weighed heavily in the President’s mind. He recalled the President’s reaction to a recent report of a child who went night-night from a drone-inflicted boo-boo, “He knows when he’s made an oopsy. You could just see it written on his face. He just put his hands in his head and whispered ‘Uh-oh, Spaghetti-O.’ It was a really tense moment.”

Exasperated President Obama Admits Some Drone Strikes Result in Oopsies

Too many boo-boos

Republicans meanwhile are attacking the President’s word choice. Republican Congresswoman Michelle Bachman released a statement saying: “The president is trying to downplay these boo-boos by calling them oopsies. When an adult goes bye bye, that’s an oopsy. Children, though… That’s a fudgie. He fudged up.”

Sensitivity around the President’s comments come on the tail of his recent admission that forgetting to ensure returning Veterans are receiving adequate medical care was the result of an “epic brain fart”.

Since the President took office, more than 1,000 Band-Aids have been applied to children suffering from drone related boo-boos.

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