*NOTE: Michael (Mike) Blackman is by no means an actual board certified attorney or comedian. Rather, he is a self-proclaimed law aficionado and comedy fan in general. His opinions do not reflect those of the absrdCOMEDY.COM staff or any of its contributors.
“Can I get my deposit back on apartment if its currently not in decent living conditions?”
– David, Niagra Falls NY
MB: Is this Lindsay Lohan?
“Is it OK to file for bankruptcy in your 30’s?”
– Jason, Portland OR
MB: Not only is it OK but these days it is expected. Hell, I filed for bankruptcy in my teens! By the time I was in late 20’s I had filed seven times. You better get to work. Filing for bankruptcy is like getting your wisdom teeth removed. It happens to everyone and you get a bunch of drugs afterwards.
“What’s the best way to get out of a parking ticket?”
-Haylie, Brooklyn NY.
“What is habeas corpus?”
– Thomas, Richmond VA
MB: I’m pretty sure ‘habeas corpus’ is some of ancient witch or hex that haunts clients who don’t pay their attorneys on time. Or it is the goalie for Team Brazil.
“What is the legal age to leave a child unattended in the state of California?”
-Cathy, Miami FL
MB: Whatever age it was Macaulay Culkin was when his parents left him behind in “Home Alone”. Trust me, it holds up in court.*
“How does copyright infringement work?”
-Sean, Boston MA.
MB: When you copy and paste from Wikipedia just change the font and you’re good.
“Is it legal to fly the confederate flag?”
-Jacob, Cleveland OH
MB: As long as you hate your neighbors.
“Is it legal to sleep in your car?
-Greg, Denver CO
MB: Only in the jurisdiction of WalMart parking lots (Avoid Hobby Lobby parking lots unless you already have your own protection).
“Is it legal to carry a sword?”
-Eric, Tucson AZ
MB: Not if you say “Hear ye, hear ye” when you enter the room.
“Is it legal to burn money?”
-Kevin, Washington, DC
MB: Not if it is your ex-wife’s.
*Not the sequel. The sequel does not hold up in court.
Need more? Check out Mike’s previous legal advice.
© Absrd Comedy, LLC – a parody site for entertainment purposes only. Laugh. Enjoy! Individual opinions expressed are those of the individual authors, not necessarily of absrdComedy, and may not even be those of the individual authors.