Judge Judy Elected to U.S. Supreme Court


The nation’s favorite judge is heading Washington.

In a ruling earlier this week that has members of congress’ heads spinning: Judith Sheindlin (aka Judge Judy) has officially been elected to the U.S. Supreme Court, making her the fifth women to serve and the first with very own daytime Emmy.

“The cranky lady from TV?” stated a clearly baffled Chief Justice John Roberts Jr. while sipping a milkshake dressed in a black robe in his back chambers. “Who’s next? Judge Joe Brown?”

Never one to let the public’s negative opinion weigh her down, Judge Judy feels decidedly more optimistic. “Those idiots can say whatever they want,” Judge Judy replied from one of her extravagant hill-side mansions tossing back a Mai Tai. “I was brought here to shake things up!” She added: “Not to mention improve their ratings. Do you know the Supreme Court has zero rating? How have they not been cancelled?”

Longest serving Judge, Justice Atonin Scalia doesn’t necessary agree: “Her first day she tells Ruth Ginsburg she’s nerd for liking ‘Game of Thrones’ and keeps hiding my key to the bathroom. It’s like she thinks she owns the place.”

Judge Clarence Thomas interjected, “She keeps saying ‘pee on her leg and tell her it’s raining’ but runs the other way when I say ‘ok.’ “

Her first order of business will be reportedly scaling back “office hours” to three days a week to allow her to balance her day job and transporting the U.S. Supreme Court to a courtroom in the San Fernando Valley with room for audience participation.

Bailiff Byrd

Bailiff Byrd

Bailiff Byrd is considering his options.

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