No stranger to controversy himself, ex-Major League slugger and everyone’s favorite “narc” Jose Canseco shocked sports’ pundits and teenage girls everywhere when he accused ‘High School Musical’ star Zac Efron of alleged steroid abuse.
“C’mon, just take a look his ripped body and tell me he’s not juicing. Seriously…” Canseco told a room filled with confused reporters, who were reportedly expecting a different announcement.
“We were hoping maybe he’d come clean about Alex Rodriguez finally or perhaps even drop the bomb about Mike Pizza or something…but this is unheard of! I mean Zac Efron? I didn’t even know he played Baseball!” Said one clearly perplexed Sports Illustrated reporter.
Not so, says Canseco, whose own past discretion with steroids informs his current position. “Trust me, I know Steroids like the back of my own hand, and this kid is pumping them like Sammy Sosa and Barry Bonds combined on a bender!
Apparently, Canseco become aware of Efron’s steroid abuse upon seeing “That Awkward Moment” in theatres with his two teenage daughters, specifically it was a topless shirtless scene involving Efron that Canseco describes as being “steroid porn” and “difficult to watch”.
“If I can stop not just one billionaire athlete, but also any potential Disney Stars from abusing Steroids, by selling them out to the public while promoting my own interests, then that’s my civic duty as a concerned former MLB player.” Canseco remarked.
Zac Efron was not available for comment, presumably because he was too busy abusing Steroids.
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