Burt Reynolds Fakes Death to Boost DVD Sales

0

Hollywood insiders are calling it the scheme of the century. After many years focused mainly on keeping his mustache relevant, an aging Burt Reynolds realized that no work meant no pay.

“Hollywood forgets you.” said a nobody.

“He kept watching people die and realized people suddenly like dead people people again. Ya know like Michael Jackson.” said a friend who hadn’t spoken to Burt in 7 years but keeps in touch with someone who does.

While facing a potential foreclosure of his own home Burt Reynold’s decided the best way to introduce a new generation to “Smokey & the Bandit”, the “Cannonball Roll” and the rest of his amazing catalog was to fake his own death and let TMZ take it from there.

“Sadly for the first few weeks people actually thought Burt from Sesame Street had died. It sort of backfired.” said Loni Anderson.

At one point during his career Burt Reynolds was the #1 box office draw in the world. Reportedly a friend at a cocktail party gave Burt a drunken idea. An idea that stuck with Burt and would ultimately chart his path for the future. A future he hoped would repeat the comeback success of “Boogie Nights.”

Burt reemerged and began pitching his idea of his “Smokey” character participating in a “Cannonball Run.”

Only Jackie Chan seemed interested.

Exclusive snippet from script 'return of the bandit'

Exclusive snippet from script ‘return of the bandit’

“Burt spent the majority of his remaining fortune trying to make this work.” said  his financial advisor.

Burt currently resides at a trailer park 2 miles outside of Tallahassee, Florida.


© Absrd Comedy, LLC – a parody site for entertainment purposes only. Laugh. Enjoy! Individual opinions expressed are those of the individual authors, not necessarily of absrdComedy, and may not even be those of the individual authors.

Leave A Reply